Messy Christian (2.0)

Oh, it’s the time of the year again where we make goals and hope to goodness that we’re going to do it. In 2008, I managed to meet my financial goal of saving “a whole lot of money”. I’m pretty happy about my financial situation now, and I got a buzz when one of my financial managers (yes, I have two) says that I’m very responsible with my money. I now have a cash inflow rather than outflow.

So, here’s what I hope to do this year:

♥ Build a RM10,000 emergency fund
I’m a little weird that I work backwards when it comes to finances - I have plenty of money in investment vehicles, but do not have much of an emergency fund which I can dip into when I have emergencies! So, from now on, I’ll be transferring about RM200 a month to a savings account which I can’t easily get to. How do I reach RM10k you say? By doing extra work, something which my company enables me to do, thank God.

♥ Get healthier and fitter
I say that every year, but I believe in 2008 I really did make headway - in my mental preparation. A lot of exercise gurus say that you must be mentally prepared first before you embark on a slimming down, get healthier, programme. I usually ignore that to my detriment.

After my dad was diagnosed borderline diabetic, I realised that it was time to get serious about being healthy, since it now seems obvious that I have the genes to develop the disease (my mum is a diabetic). I read up on how to be healthier and now have gained valuable information on how to achieve my goals. I really believe 2009 is the year I can shed those stubborn pounds. Goal: 10kg, which is about 1kg or less per month.

♥ Learn to read and write in Chinese and speak Mandarin
It’s something I realise I have to do, now. I can fool people when I speak Mandarin as I apparently have a nice accent. (Benefit of growing up next to Singapore) but my vocabulary is that of a four-year-old’s! I’m not much of a self-study gal. I suck at it, so it looks like I’ll be enrolling in a class. Anyone knows a good language school? Some language schools even have a “study in China for a while” programme, and I’m thinking of participating in those.

♥ Learn to speak Japanese
Wow, am I ambitious or something? Well, my best pal Chris and I plan to visit Japan in 2010 or 2011. She’s already learning how to do so. Agh, I need to catch up.

A good friend recently said that she learned far more about Christianity through my behaviour and actions. I was really moved by what she said because, see, I did not specialise in or learn Evangelism 101 nor did I actively thump the bible over her head. All I did was just be myself.

It made me think all those years ago when God gave me the dream about “birthing a new me”. You probably wouldn’t recognise me back then, when I had the dream. I certainly wasn’t the same person I was. But through great pain and sadness, a new person emerged. Someone wiser, I hope. Someone who understands more about what Christ’s love is all about, and how to communicate that to others.

For so long I forgot to love people before getting the message of Christ across. For so long I forgot that the message of Christ is love, and that to “spread the Word” means to be Christ to other people. I believe there is a place for the Billy Grahams of the world, but I also believe there’s a place for people like me who just wants to show what Christ’s love has done for them.

Happy New Year everyone!

Some readers have been wondering where I’ve disappeared to But fear not - nothing bad happened to me. Rather, I’ve been soooo busy. Not just with work, mind you, but a very full social calendar. Christmas was wonderful - spent time with my best friend, visited friends and threw a party and roasted a chicken (Sorry, turkey expensive lar) for my family. Then there’s New Year’s eve, celebrated with my family once more, and will be celebrating New Year’s Day with friends…

If there’s something that can be said about 2008, is that my social calendar was full!

It’s really strange - when I was attending church, my calendar was as bare as Mother Hubbard’s cupboard, but after I left it, it began filling up like nobody’s business. Now, lest you think I’m accusing the church of being a social impediment of sorts, let me assure you that I’m not. For a lot of people, it’s the total opposite. Why then was it different for me?

I think it’s because of a few things:

One: I was so busy with church activities that I simply did not have time to mingle with friends or family.

Second, and this is probably a bigger reason: I forgot that building friendships takes work!

The thing about church society is that people come to it with an expectation that there’s an instant family waiting for you there.

An instant family, without the need to cultivate or build relationships because everyone is expected to be your family, no questions asked. But even in churches we need to learn how to start a relationship and build it up from being just acquaintances to dear friends. That takes work. That takes opening up not just your home but your heart. And that takes risk.

I figured that I never really took that risk when I was in church. Why should I, when relationships are gift wrapped for you? As a result, the relationships I had in church were mere shadows of what they could actually be.

When I left the church organisation and had to ’survive’ so to speak in the big, bad world, I learned that making friends and keeping them takes work. It also takes massive amounts of EQ (emotional IQ) but that’s another post altogether!

I love holding parties at my home, and friends who are regular attendees may be surprised to know that once upon a time, I was afraid of having such parties because I thought nobody would come. But when I took the risk of facing rejection, the rewards were aplenty.

By making myself available to people, people made themselves available to me. Truly 2008 was the year where I learned to be a better friend, but I know I still have a lot of work to do!

Which is why I think that perhaps in 2009 I can return to church. My dilemma, however, is not whether I can find the perfect church (like, does it even exist! Huh) but whether I can be a part of a church without upsetting a whole lot of people. I for one know that I’m unwilling to play the “game”, or a more polite way of putting it, “live by community rules.”

I recognise now that the “community rules” is something I find distasteful at times. I dislike a lot of things about how church is done, and cannot ever tolerate injustice that I see, but at the same time I realise that the community, however flawed, is still God’s bride.

I also know that even if I do become a part of a church, it will not be the same way as other people, and that’s okay. That means not attending every Sunday or attending cell groups etc. Because, sorry … I don’t really find these things beneficial to me. (And please don’t say that we go to church to worship God. Frankly, I think that’s silly. We can worship God anywhere, and we can give our time to Him outside the church building too!) Withstanding the peer pressure from those who insist that it’s amazing and being gracious about their reaction when you say “no” is another thing, however!

My question for 2009 is this: How do I be a part of God’s church without being an obstacle to others? How do I bless others, despite knowing what I know about the church (especially about its less-than-perfect leadership)? That’s something of a work in progress, and that’s something I hope God will help me learn next year.

Happy 2009, folks!

<-- Foreign tourists watch as smoke billows out of the historic Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai which was attacked on November 27. The United States and Britain have led global condemnation of the attacks in India’s financial capital, where blasts and shootings targeted at foreigners left up to 100 people dead.
(AFP/Indranil Mukherjee)

I used to dislike extremists. I f**king despise them now.

I loathe, hate and (insert inappropriate adjective) all of them! I’m so f**king fed up of reading about people getting blown up or killed in other ghastly ways because the terrorists think they are scum because they don’t believe the same things they do.

I couldn’t process the image of gunment beseiging a major city (this time it’s Mumbai), holding scores hostage, and machine-gunning hotel guests and diners in restaurants as if they were a bunch of rats. The Indian bloggers are as enraged as I am, and many can’t comprehend the magnitude of it all.

I hate these terrorists. Hate, hate, hate! I wish I could round them up and put them in an alternate dimension where they are turned into rats trapped in a maze of dark tunnels and are being hunted down by some terrifying mutated cat who will tear them apart limb by limb before chomping them up. Just to teach them a lesson or three.

Why do you think it necessary to force people to believe in what you do with murder and terror? Why do you think God honours your murder of innocents? Why do you sneer and snigger in glee as you pump that fatal round into a person’s head? I hate you for your twisted assurance that you will be blessed by God for your heinious acts of cruelty.

Moderates, it is time to rise up and stand up to the extremists among you! My question is this: What are you going to do to maintain what your religion/country/sect stands for? Saying that your religion/country/sect is all about peace is simply not enough - it’s time to be vocal, and to shout down the extremists who seem to think that they are the voice of your faith.

Just yesterday my friend, who is not a Christian, told me about the actions of a Christian relative who is so clearly in the wrong THAT I didn’t know what to say. Another Christian friend was there, and all we could do is apologise for the inconsiderate and extremist actions of that Christian person. It goes to show that you may read the bible, but it doesn’t mean that the spirit or the lessons of the bible can penetrate your soul.

Being a Christian moderate, I can’t stand it when extremists throw their weight around and bully people into getting things done their way or worse, that only God loves them the best because they do all the right things. HAH!

Again, I say - Moderates, it’s time to stand up to the extremists in your midst!

I’ve always felt that I lucked out with my job. I consider myself incredibly blessed to have found a job where I can indulge in my passions (reading books, watching movies and TV and writing!), and where I have wonderful superiors and colleagues to work with. What’s more, my job is such that I can spend enough time with my family. A lot of times I feel that I was made for this job, and that God had steered me into this path - and it wasn’t an entirely path, mind you. Seriously, noone can ask for a better fate.

So, what do you do when you have a job that you adore? You hang on to it like a crazy woman, that’s what you do. Having had bad job experiences before, I seriously know how fortunate I am … yet, I know that everything in life is temporal, and there’s always a part of me that is getting ready for that unfortunate day …

Here’s a confession: I just returned from Beijing, so putting up the Christian Carnival was a wee bit of a challenge (I was barely awake to do it) and worse, the Internet died on me just as I was about to post it! Murphy’s law, anyone?

But here it is! A little late, but intact I hope. If you find your post missing, do not hesitate to contact me. Sometimes it just happens.

We have a good collection here - a bit of theology, and some challenging philosophical questions raised. There are also thought provoking posts on how to live our Christian lives, and some very practical ones about managing money! So without delay, here’s the 251st Christian Carnival!

CHRISTIAN LIVING
♣ Unsolicited Advice @ Christianity Lived Out
Personally, I can’t stand unsolicited advice. But when Applied Christianity from Christianity Lived Out mentions a number of figures from the Bible who did precisely that, it caught my attention.

♣ Giving Glory @ The Life I Now Live
There is an epidemic spreading among believers, says Minister Mamie L. Pack. This illness can block blessings and sever a relationship with Christ without you even major symptoms. Is there a cure?

♣ Blind to Sin @ Chasing the Wind
Christians tend to think it’s the non-believers that sin, but we’re fooling ourselves. We have a blind spot. If we could recognize it, we could acknowledge it, then address it. How did David react when Nathan confronted him about Bathsheba? Was David blind to his own sin?

♣ Thinking and Thought @ Pseudo-Polymath.
“The Christian faith is based on ideas, ideas like Trinity (the relational nature of God), Sacraments, and Theosis. These ideas are in some sense, likely, more real than we are…”

♣ We Can’t See It @ A Sower’s Heart.
Do disasters in our lives have God’s hand in it? asks A Sower.

ISSUES
♣ Gabriel Murdi : A Glorious Life cut Short @ Emorevoke’s Weblog
Voke Emore relates the shocking death of Gabriel Murdi, who was refused medical treatment because of flaws in Nigeria’s public sector.

♣ An answer to “Why believe in God?” @ A True Believer’s Blog.
Wickle talks about the “new atheism” movement, and the ads on buses saying, “Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness’ sake!” This week, Wickle answers those who challenge the people he rebuked last week. The irony is not lost on him.

♣ Doing the Right Thing @ Journey Across the Sky.
After watching the movie, Amazing Grace, I share Allen Scott’s thoughts on how hard it is to do something right when it is acceptable to do the wrong thing. Says Scott: “Being salt and light to a tasteless, dark world is the responsibility of the church and those who call upon the name of the Lord. It is our heritage, our cross, our mission, and yes it is our duty to our fellow citizens.”

MONEY MATTERS
♣ What Truly Matters by Free Money Finance
Our use of money can affect our relationships … and vice versa. Living within our means doesn’t have to be a tough choice, says FMF. It could actually be a relationship nourishing one, and one suitable for financially troubled times like these!

♣ Christmas Shopping Credit Deals by Money Blue Book
Christmas is just a few weeks away and instead of burning a hole in your pocket, Raymond recommends that you use some good deals out there.

♣ Tithing on Gross vs. Net - What Exactly is Gross Income? posted at The Real Estate Investing Journey.
Now that was a question I asked myself before! JCL explains why its necessary to tithe your gross income.

WORD THOUGHTS
♣ Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God: I Need A Spiritual Haircut! by Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God.
Blind to Sin by Chasing the Wind
Christians tend to think it’s the non-believers that sin, but we’re fooling ourselves. We have a blind spot. If we could recognize it, we could acknowledge it, then address it. How did David react when Nathan confronted him about Bathsheba? Was David blind to his own sin?

♣ Thinking and Thought @ Pseudo-Polymath.
“The Christian faith is based on ideas, ideas like Trinity (the relational nature of God), Sacraments, and Theosis. These ideas are in some sense, likely, more real than we are…”

♣ Dining with harlots posted at dokeo kago grapho soi kratistos Theophilos.
Jesus certainly liked shock therapy, said Richard H. Anderson.

♣ Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God: I Need A Spiritual Haircut! @ Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God.
Tiffany Partin likens God’s pruning of our character to a hair cut - and I have to agree with her. I do feel like a new woman after each hair cut!

BOOKS
♣ Bart Ehrman’s Master Argument @ Parableman.
Jeremy Pierce pens thoughts on Bart Ehrman’s bestselling Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why.

♣ Excerpt from The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs @ Trivium Pursuit.<
An exerpt from Burroughs’ book.

I visited Beijing about 3- 4 years ago, and I was amazed at how big the buildings were and impressed by the trendy women. But whoa, Beijing has gone from that to even greater heights. BIgger, flashier buildings, and women who looked as if they just walked out of a Vogue magazine fashion spread. Darn, I wish I could wear coats and knee high boats with such aplomb.

Designer brands were everywhere.They have whole buildings with just branded stuff. The Chinese appear to be as brand-mad as the Japanese.

But while some are incredibly trendy and well off, you see the other extreme at times… women with weather-lined faces travelling in bikes … the difference can be quite stark.

Oh, one thing that did not change: Beijing’s headache-inducing traffic jams. There are far more cars than ever before (a lot of Fords and Volkswagons!) and it’s not helping the situation any.A Chinese tour guide lamented that fewer people are using bicycles now.

Have had a relatively easy past few days, even if I was half the time worried about what I should or can wear. Fashion assignment. Long story.

The most memorable experience so far? Dinner at the Forbidden CIty. You read me right! It was in one of the ancient buildings in the ancient palace, and I was so awed that I was eating warm Italian food in a palace where only concubines, eunuchs, royalty could enter. It was surreal to say the least.

Will be back to Malaysia on Monday…. see ya!

Well, in a few hours I’ll be flying off to the land of my ancestors for a week-long assignment. I have seriously overpacked for this assignment, and I have literally brought an arsenal of make-up to make myself presentable to the hoi poloi of the fashion world.

Hopefully I’ll get some Internet access there, but I’m not really betting on it.

The nice thing is that I may have a chance to see the Olympics 2008 sites and the Great Wall of China, which I was too chicken to walk up the last time I was in Beijing. (The stairs were really steep!)

See you guys!

PS: I hope nothing crazy happens in Malaysia when I’m gone. Things move and happen so fast I may be returning to a different country for all I know!

Obama won. I’m happy. But I’m also reserved because I know that today’s hero can become tomorrow’s derided leader. Look at Tony Blair! Obama has a lot of fixing to do. (Bush left quite a mess.)

But hey, I’m glad Americans voted for a Democrat president, and I’m very glad that an African American is in the Oval Office because it’s a big, graphic statement to downtrodded minorities around the world: You can be anything you want, it’s not impossible, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

In Malaysia, where race politics are alive and well although badly kicked after the March 8 election, Obama’s election has made Malaysians dream of a time when not only will all Malaysians be equal but a non-Malay can be PM.

As I was surfing today, I actually came across several posts by Christians saying that - to paraphrase them - “Obama is of the devil”. Shows you how long I was out of the loop that I only now realise that. Heh.

What got me shocked, however, is to hear some Malaysian Christians saying that too! I mean, seriously, American right-wing propaganda has always made its way to Malaysian pulpits and some Malaysian Christians have adopted these pronouncements like the gospel truth, but this is ridiculous!

Read this post, How can Christians support Obama? for one:

I am frustrated almost beyond belief that any Christian can support Obama. Once you get past the soaring rhetoric, you have a man who openly supported infanticide and then lied about it. He is a man who will implement - by his own admission - socialist policies that will harm America. Those policies directly harm the church; they bring people even further away from a reliance on God.

The reason why I protest is because they are judging based on:
a) The guy’s religious beliefs
Who the hell gave you the right to play God and judge his relationship with the Lord?

b) The fact that he’s pro-choice
Butwhat about his other policies, for goodness sakes?

c) He has a Muslim connection thanks to his father and his upbringing in Indonesia
I find this incredibly offensive! I don’t need to explain myself! Hmph!

I don’t care if you’re for Obama or McCain, but you should vote for a candidate based on their policies and plan for a better America, not on what you think their relationship with God is like!

From that post, I also discovered that to be a socialist = satanist.

Well, I’ve got news for some of you. I am:
a) a socialist at heart
b) pro-choice
c) an Obama supporter

Oh dear, I’m destined for hell! God hates me! Sob!

It’s so tragically funny! ;P

But on the other hand, The Seattle Times reported that not as many Christians are of this view: Young, evangelical … for Obama? and then there’s this post, Majority of Christians support Obama which quotes a Barna poll.

Christians should be aware that their vote is being courted through “religious” means, and they shouldn’t fall for it. But it looks like many have wisened up this time around. Thumbs up.

There are probably 1001 ways the Bible can be “repackaged” and remarketed and then sold at a premium by publishers. Personally, I think the Bible should be free or priced at cost price so that everyone can read it, but hey, that’s just me.

Anyway, I’m sure you’ve seen Bibles for single women, mothers, babies, the Emergent crowd, the anti-Emergent crowd and probably one for pets. So why not a “green, environmentally-friendly” bible?

According to the Christian Science Monitor:

Produced with soy-based inks, recycled paper, and a cotton/linen cover, “The Green Bible” highlights in green more than a thousand passages relating to God’s love for creation and the role of humans in caring for the earth.

(Read more)

The article goes on to say that Evangelicals, particularly in the United States, “have long questioned the justification and aims of environmentalism. Many conservative Christians have viewed it as a “leftist” issue, sometimes bordering on pantheism”. (Frankly, as a Malaysian Christian, sometimes I have to wonder about my US Christian siblings’ thought processes.)

It’s therefore, heartening that American Evangelicals are finally pulling themselves together to take care of God’s planet, but producing a “green” bible ain’t it.

There’s also the problem of reading the bible through a “green lens”. I believe the bible is about saving the world, but I don’t believe we should highlight anything as people would be inclined to only focus on the highlighted verses and be tempted to forget everything else.

Out of Ur has a great post - The Green Letter Bible - about this bible, and says that .. “Speaking of context, I’m afraid the letter coloring will distract, in many places, from the actual theological significance of a passage”

Now, if Christians are serious about reducing their carbon footprint, why not do this:
♣ Use the bible you already have instead of buying more themed-bibles
♣ Drive less, bike more around the neighbourhood
♣ Take public transport
♣ Take less trips by aeroplane
♣ Don’t waste water
♣ Use less electricity
♣ Live in smaller homes, which requires less energy to maintain
♣ Repair first, and when all hope is lost, only replace

I’m the last person to preach, to be honest, As I’m more aware of the need to be more environmentally responsible, I am doing what I can - reducing electricity and plastic bag use - but I know it’s not even a drop in an ocean.

What I need to do is to drive less and take less plane trips, something my job doesn’t really make easy. As much as I want to take public transport, the pathetic state of Malaysian public transport doesn’t make it easy for me to get to my assignments on time.

In fact, the problem seems so huge, I don’t know what to do except rail against the authorities for taking away carpark spaces next to LRT stations (Bangsar LRT station, I’m looking at you!!) and building office buildings instead of multi-storey carparks.

In fact, I despair over Malaysia’s downhill slide in almost everything (environmental being the worst of them all) that I’ve come close to deciding that it’s time to migrate! Yes, yes, I always threaten that when the going gets tough. Sigh.

But if like-minded people like me leave, what is Malaysia going to be left with?